The Learn to Row Comedy Act

I love rowing. Sorry, have I already said that a million times? But to be honest, I'm not very involved with rowing anymore. With a full-time job it's just not very feasible to commit to 5 a.m. practices four times a week. (I have no idea how Laurissa does it - seriously.)

Luckily though, I have enough friends who are still heavily involved with the sport that I can pretend I'm still involved. Three of my friends actually work and row out of Community Rowing Inc. in Newton, MA and through them I have been able to start coxing/coaching a learn to row group one night a week.

Now let me clarify, being in a learn to row boat barely qualifies as rowing. Most of the two hours are spent praying we don't flip, crash, hit things, and make it back to the dock alive (docking a boat filled with brand new rowers may be one of the hardest things ever). But it's fun (kind of) and it gets me back out on the water once a week which I love.

(Out in the barge the first day)

I think some of my favorite entertainment comes from the questions the learn to row rowers ask. Having spent the past six years around the sport and with most of my friends being rowers, I often forget how little others know about the sport. Below are some of my favorite questions that I've been asked in all seriousness. If you know anything about rowing you'll probably get a kick out of them:

"I bet Olympians bring their own shoes and oars."

"Why isn't your skin more leathery from all the time you spend on the water?" (Uh... ever heard of sunscreen?)

While rowing by fours at 10 spm: "So how far off were we just then from an Olympic time?"

After rowing 500 m: "So that was pretty long race, right?"

"Have you always been a bossy person?"

Looking at a new Vespoli 8+: "How much does one of these cost? Couple hundred bucks?"

"Where do you go to high school?" (Uh... I've been out of college for two years.)

After no one on starboard side understanding the concept of taking a stroke, drifting into a sandbar, and me getting out of the boat to push us off of it: "I bet you have to do that a lot." (Nope, that was the first time in my six years of rowing.)

"These boats are heavy."

"You're gonna steer this whole boat with that little rope?! I don't trust that."

"This is just like canoeing, right?" 

"Is being in time an important aspect of it?"

"Can you just say "stop"? That other word is confusing me." Nope.

"This is a lot harder than it looks."

So basically in conclusion, as much as I love this comedy act every Tuesday night, I miss real boats.

(Michigan State's Varsity 8+ at MACRA 2012)